


Trepidation

by TenshiAkaashi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dysfunctional Relationship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I'll add more characters and tags as the story progresses lol, M/M, also, eventual I might add, this is a first work!, yandere!Yamaguchi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-07 01:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14660478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenshiAkaashi/pseuds/TenshiAkaashi
Summary: "He had feared that if he didn’t intimidate, threaten, that Tsukishima would find a reason to leave. Though Yamaguchi had practically created a reason for him to go.Yet, Tsukishima stayed. Yamaguchi had lost the attitude, until recently."





	1. Surfacing

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear, I obviously do not condone this type of relationship at all. This is purely for self enjoyment and for something fun to write. I love these characters and just came up with a situation to put them in.   
> It's not a "cute" thing and I definitely know that, no worries. 
> 
> That being said! This is only the first chapter to set the tone, so I'm sorry it's so short! Each chapter in the future will be around 2000~ words, I just wanted to get this one out haha

A loud laugh, the sound of balls bouncing around a gym, a hearty pat on the back from Kuroo, praise for getting the serve he had been working on for several weeks, his boyfriend watching him fondly in the bleachers. It was the usual comfortable and warm atmosphere Tsukishima found himself in since joining Tokyo University. It wasn’t something he had anticipated, but he was growing to enjoy it. Tsukishima considered himself lucky he had made the team despite having been scouted for it. 

 

Yet, there was still a lingering fear. 

 

He considered himself lucky despite carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders. It squeezed his chest, made his heart skip a beat, and his fingers tingle. It was a feeling he was familiar with. He wished he could alleviate the anxiety. But the threat was too great to put off.  

 

It was carried by tension. 

 

Tsukishima could feel him looking over his shoulder, constant, insistent gaze settling on him no matter the circumstance. It used to make him uncomfortable, through middle school and up until their second year. His skin itched, fingers tightening around the volleyball they held. Tsukishima was a grown man, Yamaguchi’s gaze no longer frightened him. The incentive of pain was no longer lingering. But he sure as hell could be intimidating. 

 

He knew Yamaguchi was nervous seeing him interact with others, while the man tried his hardest to keep the words swallowed down Tsukishima could see the displeasure in him whenever he went out with friends, or spoke to someone a little too much. It was a development that had recently resurfaced, something Tsukishima hadn’t seen since their high school years. 

 

It made sense back then, when Yamaguchi was shy and worried, constantly fretting over their relationship. The lack of self-confidence only heightened his emotions, and how far he would push his boundaries. He had feared that if he didn’t intimidate, threaten, that Tsukishima would find a reason to leave. Though Yamaguchi had practically created a reason for him to go. 

Yet, Tsukishima stayed. Yamaguchi had lost the attitude, until recently. 

 

_ Bothersome, _ He thought, letting out a quiet ‘ _tch_ ’. 

 

He looked up at Yamaguchi, making eye contact with the boy and acknowledging him, just to break the tension that Yamaguchi had been creating between them. Thankfully, it seemed to calm the boy as moments later Yamaguchi had put on a bright smile, waving to his boyfriend. 

 

Tsukishima sighed as he turned back around, he had thought they had gotten over this. The possessiveness. They had spoken so many times over it, had so many arguments- 

 

“Something on your mind?” 

 

Tsukishima looked up to see Kuroo stood beside him again, a look of concern etched onto his features. 

 

“You could say that.”

Kuroo nodded, leaving Tsukishima to his thoughts with that.

  
  


It definitely didn’t take Tsukishima long to figure out what was bothering Yamaguchi. Hell, he knew what was wrong back at practice. A blind man would’ve known. Yamaguchi had been fidgeting and fiddling with his fingers as they walked, unable to keep still as they made the trek back to their apartment. His shoulders were held tense, something was building up in him. Tsukishima knew what was on his mind yet chose to stay quiet, choosing to listen to music over talking. He didn’t want to listen. He already knew what was coming. At this rate he could probably recite it word for word. 

 

“... Why do you.. Why do you act so friendly with him…? I thought I told you I didn’t like it.” Though soft-spoken, Yamaguchi’s words were still stern. There was no mistaking that tone. 

 

“Tadashi, he’s the vice captain-” He was meant to be friendly, “..we’ve both also known him for years. I’ve already assured you, several times, that I’m not going to leave you.” 

 

“I know.” 

 

“Then why do you keep bringing it up?” Tsukishima asked, “I thought we were over this.” 

 

“You made promises too, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said, “You haven’t kept those promises, either. It’s not fair for you to ask the same of me, especially when you haven’t kept your side of the deal…!” 

 

Yamaguchi reached his hand out to grip Tsukishima’s, wanting the man to keep his attention on him. He tugged until Tsukishima met his eye, “You said you would-” 

 

Tsukishima’s jaw clenched when the boys grip tightened, “And I will.” 

 

He pulled out his keys, ignoring the sour look that Yamaguchi was wearing. He didn’t have the energy to argue right now.

 

“We can talk about this later, alright?” He put on a lighter tone, unlocking the door to their apartment. “You don’t have to worry, Tadashi. I promised you before that I wouldn’t leave you, I’m still sticking to that promise.” 

 

Yamaguchi smiled, his attitude changing in all of a second. ‘Okay, I trust you.” He pulled Tsukishima down to peck his lips, affectionate despite how he was just acting. “I love you, go shower. You smell,” He chuckled before heading into the apartment, leaving Tsukishima with a small smile on his face. 

 

He still felt love for him. Even with his flaws and imperfections Tsukishima still loved Yamaguchi, he still watched the man go off with fondness in his gaze. To be fair, he was no perfect man himself. Yamaguchi still had to put up with his antics. This was just another hurdle they would have to jump.

 

They would get through this, these tiny arguments. They always did. Didn’t they.


	2. Entrapment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WhOO sorry it's been a little while! My computer died the day after I posted the first chapter haha, but I managed to get the second chapter finished ^^ Thanks for reading and such!! It's been ages since I've written any fanfiction.   
> Anhyways, I hope you guys like it!

The behaviour hadn’t stopped. Yamaguchi had promised to relax, to not become so tense and defensive whenever Kuroo was around. Though, Tsukishima was sure that was the exact opposite that had happened. It had only gotten worse. Yamaguchi became more critical of Tsukishima’s volleyball practices, the outing they would go out on afterward, it was a constant demand to know where he was every five minutes.

Tsukishima couldn’t utter the man’s name without Yamaguchi complaining, listing off every and any excuse he could come up with to get Tsukishima to not go out with him. It had specifically been targeted at Kuroo.

Yamaguchi had begun acting as if he had a chain around Tsukishima’s neck, able to pull the links and do to Tsukishima as he saw fit. He had bent to the man’s will in the beginning, but Tsukishima didn’t exactly enjoy letting Yamaguchi get away with every single will. He didn’t want Yamaguchi getting upset, but the accusations of cheating and promiscuity were beginning to become obnoxious. Therefore he let himself go out, with Kuroo no less.

This time, he didn’t utter a single word hinting to his day out with the man to Yamaguchi. Only telling him he was going out for breakfast and that he would be back soon.

As expected, it was nice to have the weight on his shoulders be lifted for a short period of time, to be able to enjoy his day for once. Kuroo made him smile with ease, the conversations weren’t forced or stilted. Most importantly, Tsukishima could _relax_. However-

It wasn’t a date, it absolutely wasn’t a date. Even though it behaved like one. Tsukishima wasn’t going to cheat on Yamaguchi, someone he had been dating for several years. However, that didn’t stop Kuroo from acting like it was a date. Kuroo’s intent was obvious as the night was dark, the small touches on the shoulder and arm were a little past friendly, idling. They were trying to be convincing. Tsukishima would often catch him staring for a little too long, his gaze lingering, with a small smile always attached. It occurred to Tsukishima then that this was what Yamaguchi was constantly watching, constantly criticizing.

Kuroo seemed to know all of his weaknesses, the aquarium, the dog cafe, hell Tsukishima was sure he had never told him he enjoyed amusement parks.

It took a lot of will for Tsukishima to not give in.

When the day finally came to an end, Tsukishima arrived home to a dark apartment, having been gone out since early morning and arriving home around 12-- it didn’t surprise him to find Yamaguchi irritated by his actions. He couldn’t help but smirk, glad that for once, he had properly pissed Yamaguchi off.

He stepped out of his shoes and into his slippers, turning on the lights as he walked through the halls in his home. It seemed to be untouched from this morning. Yamaguchi knew. He definitely knew. He soon came across the office, a dim light seeping out from underneath the door, Tsukishima wondered how long Yamauchi had holed himself up in there for. He was either ignoring him or asleep.

“Yama-”

“Where have you been?” Yamaguchi turned around in his chair, his eyes narrowed. “You told me you were just going out for breakfast.” Well, it wasn’t a lie.

“I got caught up in plans.”

“Who were you with?”

“Kuroo-”

“I _told_ you I didn’t want you going out with him,” Yamaguchi seethed, standing and walking over to the other, nearly coming eye level with him. “Since when do you not listen?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “Since when have I been your dog?” He snapped, “I’m allowed to go out with Kuroo, I already told you, you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to leave you.”

“How am I meant to trust you, huh?” Yamaguchi bristled, “He’s flirting-”

“So what if he’s flirting with me? I’m not reciprocating it, am I? He knows full well I’m dating you, it’s not like he’s going to make a move when he knows that. Fuck, Tadashi, I can’t do a single thing with you constantly breathing down my neck.” Tsukishima sighed, he didn’t want to push this argument too far. They didn’t need to fight over this.

“Listen, he just wanted to take me out for the day, alright? I always let you go out with other people. Me going out with Kuroo should be no different, and you know that.”

That seemed to make Yamaguchi simmer a little, yet Tsukishima could still see his clenched fists and tensed jaw. The kid definitely wasn’t happy.

“Yet you still kept it a secret from me,” Yamaguchi muttered, standing unusually still. Tsukishima tensed.

“You knew what you were doing today, you kept it quiet didn’t you? From the one person you’re supposed to put your trust in.” Tsukishima took the words as his cue to leave, not wanting to escalate this any further.

As he turned, Yamaguchi’s fingers wound around his bicep, sharply pulling him back and much too close. “But first- fucking listen to me.” His tone had completely changed, it was intense, cutting through Tsukishima’s calm facade. Blunt nails dug into his skin, causing his teeth to clench.

“The difference between you and a _good_ boyfriend is listening. You can’t just keep going off and doing whatever you want to piss me off, Kei, you think I don’t know what you’re up to?” Yamaguchi’s grip only tightened, “You know I don’t like him, you know I would rather have you hang out with anybody else but this one, one fucking man. You even said it yourself, he’s flirting with you, it’s obvious what he wants and you’re hell-bent on ignoring it!” He bit out.

Tsukishima stared down at the other with his jaw slack, he had nothing to retaliate with. Yamaguchi’s grip relaxed, smiling as he realized Tsukishima was understanding the situation. “Someone’s going to get hurt if you keep it up. If you don’t tell him to leave you alone, I will, Kei” Yamaguchi said, “And I promise, sweetheart, I won’t be the one getting hurt.”

A threat. Yamaguchi, his boyfriend of four years, had just threatened him. Tsukishima swiftly turned, pulling his arm from Yamaguchi's grip to leave the room and go to his own. He purposefully slammed the door shut behind himself, grabbing his phone and flicking through his contacts. Yamaguchi was making his heart race, and it wasn’t in a pleasant.

“Kei? Hey, you haven’t called-”

‘Sorry, Aki, I know I usually give you a heads up…” Tsukishima sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke. He didn’t know how to talk about this, it had been so long. “Yamaguchi is doing it again.”

“Mm?”

“You know what I mean, don’t play stupid.”

“I know. Did you need somewhere to stay? He won’t get upset if you’re with me, right? Just let him cool down, we’ve been through this before.” Akiteru was right. This hadn’t been the first time Yamaguchi had gotten genuinely angry at him for a small misdemeanor. If he let him calm down, maybe Tsukishima would land the chance to explain himself, diffuse the situation.

“I don’t know if leaving is my best option.” Just as Tsukishima uttered the words, the front door slammed in retaliation to his own. “Never mind… He just left.”

“Ah.. alright. I’ll be over in a few, okay? Don’t say ‘you don't have to’, I’m coming.”

“Mmhm. I’ll see you soon then..” Tsukishima let out a quiet sigh, bothered after the small stint of panic. Yamaguchi was the only one who could bring that out in him, and the man was clearly using it to his advantage.

Maybe he was being a bad boyfriend, but he didn’t want to give up the relationship he had built with Kuroo. The man was the complete opposite of Yamaguchi. He was confident, strong, witty yet somehow soft-spoken when he needed to be. Tsukishima swallowed. No wonder Yamaguchi was worried, Kuroo just seemed to be everything he wasn’t.

But Tsukishima had promised him. He wasn’t going to leave.


End file.
